Grab A Grand: promising start on final day but punting misery prevails

Doncaster today. I was born here. My grandfather was a miner at Bentley colliery. At the corner shop on the council estate where they lived women regularly appeared wearing hair nets, slippers and aprons. It kept levels of lust under control.

That’s all very well but it’s not going to win me the £1,340.88 I now need to win a grand. Do I faff about and drift gently towards ignominious failure or drag myself off the canvas and swing an enormous left hook at the nearest bookmaker? Obviously, I faff about; just joking.

Dr Misha Voikhansky recommends Imphal in the 4.35pm at Sandown. To avoid abuse if Imphal wins and I don’t, I’ve had £50 on Gary Moore’s recruit at 6-1.