We've tackled touts – now for a war on overpriced burgers and sockless wonders

Confession time: the first time I went to Cheltenham, I bought a ticket off a tout. I was a student at the time and, by the time I'd rustled up enough cash and got organised to book a train south, there were no tickets left for Gold Cup day. So I rocked up on the Friday with my mate and we bought a couple of tickets off some dodgy geezer in a Puffa jacket.

I don't recall exactly what I paid, probably because it paled into insignificance against the eyewatering sum I lost inside, but I'm pretty certain it was around face value, if not less. And I was pretty chuffed with my purchase, which was by some distance the soundest financial decision I made on what I've come to think of as Black Friday.

Since then I haven't really paid much attention to racecourse touts or their cries of "tickets buy or sell", which, much like government alcohol consumption guidelines, go in one ear and straight out the other.