Evidence everywhere that the world has gone officially mad
From Valhalla to Stamford Bridge - sanity seems in short supply
How ruddy annoying are bagels? Why does anyone buy bagels? My wife likes bagels and my kids love bagels, but I hate bagels. Life is way too short to be messing about with bloody bagels. Bagels are evil and anybody who disagrees with me about this is wrong. I am not in the mood for debate.
Bagels are clearly so proud of their silly hole, but these unnecessary cavities cause carnage to human kind. How do you butter a bagel without losing half your Lurpak down the irksome hollow? It requires the precision of a brain surgeon. Throw some jam into the equation and you have essentially set yourself Mission Impossible.
I am struggling to handle the negative impact of bagels on my brain – and the various other challenges of an increasingly maddening world. I can't be the only one approaching a state of absolute bewilderment? Come on, be honest with me – are you bewildered?
Read the full story
Read award-winning journalism from the best writers in racing, with exclusive news, interviews, columns, investigations, stable tours and subscriber-only emails.
Subscribe to unlock
- Racing Post digital newspaper (worth over £100 per month)
- Award-winning journalism from the best writers in racing
- Expert tips from the likes of Tom Segal and Paul Kealy
- Replays and results analysis from all UK and Irish racecourses
- Form study tools including the Pro Card and Horse Tracker
- Extensive archive of statistics covering horses, trainers, jockeys, owners, pedigree and sales data
Already a subscriber?Log in
Published on inSteve Palmer
Last updated
Copy