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It's all luvvly jubbly as commentator Osborne proves star of the show

Jamie Osborne commentating at Newmarket
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There were plenty of commentating faux pas in evidence over the tannoy on the Rowley Mile on Saturday, when the third annual trainers' competition was a Newmarket v Lambourn affair for the first time.

This year the 'battle of the mics' had already surpassed previous fundraising, as it passed the £10,000 mark for three local charities.

Jamie Osborne got the short straw by having to call the 20-runner Cesarewitch Trial, which he said was a "Newmarket stitch-up" even before the stalls had opened.

The Lambourn trainer had a ingenious way of raising money by agreeing to mention certain phrases or words during the four-minute call for £100 a pop.

Nathaniel Parker commentating at Newmarket

His pledge got off to a flying start as soon as the stalls opened, when he announced the title of the race as "the Betfred I'm sure I can live without you Trial".

Other cash-raising gems included "they are racing on good to moist ground" and "luvvly jubbly". With half a mile to run, Osborne announced Havana Beat was "the complete yak at the back" and the winner, Who Dares Wins, was owned by Henry Ponsonby, "who tells me he's a walking aphrodisiac".

Fellow Lambourn trainer Brendan Powell had the somewhat easier 7f handicap, in which he observed of one runner: "There goes Bernardo O'Reilly, who is named after a cowboy in the Magnificent Seven and is ridden by one in Stevie Donohoe."

Brendan Powell also gave commentating a go at Newmarket

The home team of Amy Murphy, Richard Spencer and Mark Tompkins also did a marvellous job, with the latter disappointed that Mystic Meg, "who is named after one of my owners", could finish only second in the second division of the 7f fillies' maiden.

His pledge got off to a flying start as soon as the stalls opened

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