There's TMI in the friendly new world of internet betting, and it's not my BFF

Social media, friend or foe? It's a burning question. If you've made a colossal amount of money flaunting your hideously distended body parts to the kind of audience that used to spend its time at circus freak shows, then it's a BFF to both you and your bank manager. Obvs. For the rest of us, it's more of a mixed blessing.

What I really don't like about it, and the extended internet landscape, is how needy it all is; how badly it craves both my friendship and the accompanying three-digit code on my debit card. The two things seem to go together these days; people want my money and somebody has told them the best way to go about getting it is to be my mate.

The flaw in the logic is that I find anybody who wants to be my mate, despite having never met me or even nodded to me from the other side of the street, incredibly annoying. If I were on Facebook – I'm not, because my teenage daughter says it's lame and only used by people my age – then I wouldn't 'like' them. In fact, I'd do the opposite of liking them, whatever that is. I might 'poke' them, but only in the eye with a sharp stick.