Imagine a parallel universe where Frankie Dettori just made a quick, quiet exit...

Tricky business, retiring. We can all think of a few ageing sportsmen who've struggled to locate the door marked 'dignified exit', to the point where that description has become a cliche.

Frankie Dettori's long non-goodbye has become one of those subjects, like the Grand National or the state of our roads, on which everyone has an opinion. It could certainly have been handled very differently. Would that have been better? Let's imagine how the story is being told in a parallel universe...

"There was widespread shock at Ascot this afternoon when the results on Qipco British Champions Day were completely overshadowed by Frankie Dettori bringing down the curtain on his hugely successful career in the saddle. 'I woke up this morning and just felt the timing was right,' said the jockey, whose announcement took his many admirers by surprise, coming at the end of such a fruitful season.