Hurricane Alan prepares to make impact at festival

Dear old Doris. She may not have been granted full-blown hurricane status, but even as a mere storm she still put the wind up a few people. If she thought she was going to get the better of a bloody-minded National Hunt trainer in full Cheltenham mode, however, she had another thing coming.

The horses were none too sure of Doris. They poked their heads out of their boxes to see what all the fuss was about, then she summoned another 70mph gust and they ducked their heads back in, like a line of impetuous volunteers having second thoughts about enlisting.

On the gallops they trotted nervously, unperturbed by the horizontal rain but threatening mayhem every time the wind whistled around their ears. For the rest of us – at least those of us without the foresight to bring a pair of waterproof leggings from the Alan King range of stylish yet practical leisurewear – it didn’t matter if we got soaked to the skin, because ten minutes with Doris blustering around our trousers was enough to dry us out.