Responsible gambling begins at home – and it's not about losing on their terms

I went to the dentist the other day, secure in the knowledge that I've brushed twice a day for five decades, hoping for nothing more than a perfunctory scrape and prod, only to be presented with three forms to fill in, of the type that take the shine off the whole idea of living longer, even if there was any realistic chance of it.

I should have whizzed through without thinking but I paid attention and found out, among other things, that where once there were only two units of alcohol in a pint, there are now three (which seems a lot, given that 40 years ago I don't remember there being any at all), and the safe level of drinking has come down to something like five units a year. So instead of coming out feeling good about my nice clean gnashers, I'd suddenly lost a good 18 months off my life expectancy (and learned that an apple a day is bad for your teeth as well).

Where's the incentive in that? In these days of acute health consciousness and difficult trading conditions, you'd think the NHS would be trying to tempt us to walk briskly to the shops to improve our cardiovascular function and spend some money on booze (or fruit) to bolster the flagging economy, but now I just want to let my teeth rot and drink rainwater.