Everton's latest defeat may not have been televised but it still made for grim viewing

The golden age of exploration is over. Few uncharted territories remain in this Google-Mapped world of ours, where climbers have to queue like commuters to reach the summit of Mount Everest.

There will probably be a branch of Pret a Manger at the North Pole soon and if you venture into the depths of the Mariana Trench you'll be greeted by a documentary team headed by Ross Kemp or Stacey Dooley.

One option left for frustrated adventurers is to attend a non-televised Premier League match as, given the wall-to-wall TV coverage of football, there is still a certain mystique about these rare camera-shy fixtures.

I was one of the happy few who went to Arsenal's 4-0 win over Everton on Wednesday while those at home gathered round the wireless or waited for carrier pigeons in order to discover the fate of their bets on Amadou Onana to be shown the first card.

On entering the tomb of Tutankhamun in 1922, Howard Carter famously declared that he could see "wonderful things" and I feel duty-bound to report the glittering findings of my expedition to the Emirates Stadium.

Well, Arsenal tried a tippy-tappy corner routine which failed five times out of five – #ArtetaOut – and Everton are pretty far from wonderful.

They held out until the 40th minute, helped by some convenient injury stoppages and other tedious time-wasting techniques, and ended the game with five shots on target – the same number as league leaders Arsenal.

However, that was an example of the old adage about lies, damned lies and statistics. In fact, the Toffees looked as toothless as they have done for most of the season, with key striker Dominic Calvert-Lewin sidelined by his latest injury setback.

In DCL's absence, the goalscoring responsibility fell to Neal Maupay, who has contributed one goal and zero assists in 941 minutes of Premier League football this season.

In fairness to Maupay, he didn't score many goals for Brighton, who carved out plenty of chances, so he was unlikely to turn into a prolific poacher playing for an Everton side bereft of creative inspiration.

The Toffees have scored 17 goals in 25 league matches and, with Manchester City's Erling Haaland already on 27, their chances of winning the Golden Boot look slim.

But what about the more serious business of staying in the Premier League? Everton's survival chances were boosted by 1-0 wins over Arsenal and Leeds in Sean Dyche's first two home matches in charge although the decisive goals came from defenders James Tarkowski and Seamus Coleman, who scored a bizarre winner from a ridiculously tight angle to see off Leeds.

Those are Everton's only two goals in their last six league games and they head to Nottingham Forest on Sunday having found the net once in eight away matches: Demarai Gray's shock equaliser at Manchester City on New Year's Eve.

Last season, Frank Lampard's Everton secured their Premier League status by coming from 2-0 down to beat Crystal Palace 3-2 with Richarlison and Calvert-Lewin on the scoresheet.

This time, Calvert-Lewin's injury problems, the January sale of Anthony Gordon to Newcastle and the failure to bring in a new striker leave Dyche woefully short of goalscoring firepower. And, unless they suddenly find an attacking spark, the Toffees – top-flight stalwarts since 1954-55 – could go down with a whimper rather than a bang.

In Henry Green's novel Living, set in 1930s Birmingham, an Aston Villa supporter laments the club's poor form, telling a pal: "I be frighted to go down to the Villa ground, I can't abide to see 'em beaten, not a grand team like they used to be."

That sentiment may well resonate with Everton fans as Wednesday's woes left the nine-time champions of England even-money to be relegated and wondering where their next goal is coming from.

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