A golden patch to confound the soppiest of romantic writers

Aeons ago there was a perennial nuisance who somehow contrived to walk into Aintree’s old winner's enclosure every year as if he were part of the hero of the hour’s entourage.

Well, we have a similar problem. On each occasion they have staged a big race this season the same solidly-built, ruddy-faced cove has appeared in the enclosure claiming to be Colin Tizzard.

The man seems to be everywhere and the suspicion is that somewhere in deepest Dorset there is a barn full of Tizzard lookalikes. No one person could train all these important winners.