King of Aintree makes for a thrilling first day even if he is in the wrong race

The instinct to tidy never leaves you if you were raised in a slightly uptight Edinburgh home. And now I see the cards at Aintree this week are sorely in need of sorting out. I'll just set them right before anyone wakes up.

Someone's stuck the Aintree Hurdle in with the Thursday things again. I thought I'd made my feelings clear about that. And what's this? Tiger Roll in the Betway Bowl?

That can't be right, can it? Everyone knows he doesn't do regulation fences. I'll just hoick him out and swap him round with Bristol De Mai, who's over there in the Grand National for some reason. Dear me, you miss a single year and the whole world forgets how this week is supposed to be organised...