Summer holiday ruined by late arrival at the Koepka party

The mango comes from the mango tree. The mango's here for all to see. The mango is very juicy. The mango comes from the mango treeee. The mango comes from the mango treeeeeeee.

Only on holiday can you get so relaxed in the shower that you start crooning peculiar ditties about mangoes. As I was smothering myself in Original Source Mango shower gel, I paid homage to the mango by creating this song. You need to adopt a Caribbean accent and employ a dramatic four-second gap between each line to deliver my masterpiece with maximum impact.

It was not until the final leg of my three-week break, though, that I could get into a sufficiently tranquil mood for shower singing. Up to that point, I was still riddled with anguish over Brooks Koepka winning the US Open.