Passport to profit rapidly required with anniversary looming

Whoopee, the passports have arrived! I thought they were going to take much longer to get processed than that. What a tremendous fillip, eh? Gosh, look at you – smiling like the proverbial Cheshire cat. Aren't we lucky sausages?

Feigning excitement at 'good news' that you actually think is bad news must be in the top ten most difficult tasks a human can face. I did a terrific job of it when the wife and I had our new passports delivered this week.

Both were up for renewal – administration that can take ages to complete – and the usual fortnight we book off work around our wedding anniversary to go on holiday was looming large. There was a chance we would be passport-less and unable to leave the country this time. Which would have been a right result.