'I was on every front page - it was the day that changed my life'

You are Frankie Dettori, a popular figure in life's rampant prime who has put a legion of records to the sword by riding seven winners out of seven at Ascot.

The evening news has been delayed to see you complete the feat, Sunday newspaper editors across the land are busy splashing you across front pages and in every bookmakers' head office tetchy inquests are being held into the drubbing taken and damage done.

So as a man not averse to a good party, how do you celebrate when you get home? It's obvious – you declare an open house and throw a humdinger of a thrash with every wine merchant in East Anglia summoned to deliver champagne through the night until there is not a bubble left within 50 miles of Bury St Edmunds.