Deficit deepened by relentless reloading of wayward weaponry

Guns don't kill people – people do. That's what people who love guns like to say (even though the people who kill people with guns would not be able to kill people with guns if there were no guns). Imagine a world with no guns – lots of people would be wiggling their 'trigger finger' with nothing for the digit to pull on.

Try it now. I just have. Pull the trigger of two imaginary guns – one in each hand – while looking at yourself in a mirror. Crazy dance, eh? Have a chuckle. Have a ruddy good chuckle. I would like that dance to take the world by storm – I am going to call it the Guns Kill People Guns Do dance.

If anyone ever points a gun at you, do the GKPGD dance with a cheeky smile and they may well start tittering and surrender their weapon. If not, move a bit closer to the aggressor, repeat the dance and tickle their armpits with your trigger fingers. That should work.