A 'cowabunga' of a week, despite choosing Horschel over Simpson

When you start winning significant amounts of money as a married man, you have to concede that not all of it will be spent as you wish, and that commitments to your holy union will have to be factored into calculations.

In the distant past, a surge to the bank balance would merely mean bigger bar bills, bigger bets, bigger burgers, and bigger other things beginning with B, but lady wives are less attracted to such things and prefer to invest resources elsewhere. In, for example, men. Yes, an army of men have descended on our house since the good times have started to roll.

I don't mean randy men with sinister intentions – thankfully I am just about still able to deliver the necessary in that department – but men with particular 'round-the-house' talents. My weakness of not being very 'handy' means many basic tasks that any self-respecting man would be able to handle themselves require the employment of a workman.