Swell of England optimism likely to end in predictable heartache

Given how bang average the England squad is, it appeared impossible fans could create the usual unfeasibly high levels of expectation that have been such a comical aspect of every major tournament for which they have qualified in my lifetime. But, hey presto, they have.

It has happened in a slightly different way this time. Usually the Three Lions qualify fairly unspectacularly but because we won it in 1966 and apparently have the best league in the world it is presumed we will be brilliant come the finals.

Going into this tournament it seemed reality had finally dawned and that it was widely accepted a squad comprising one world-class striker and various triangle players for a number of the Premier League orchestras were bound to struggle.

But then Gareth Southgate’s heroes thumped mighty Tunisia 2-1 with a last-minute winner before a 6-1 triumph against the worst team in Russia convinced all but a tiny number of doubters that 52 years of hurt are about to come to an end.

It’s bewildering how many people, many normally sane analysts of the game, have been won over. Yes, there have been plus points. Southgate’s squad are far more likeable and seemingly far more unified and unspoilt by stardom than previous collectives.

But while team spirit is an underrated quality, and while Harry Kane is probably the best out-and-out striker in the world, there is still a glaring ability imbalance between England and the leading contenders for the trophy, and a sharp reality check awaits.

The Panama game was one of the most peculiar I have seen in ages, not least because only two minutes of injury time were awarded at the end of the first half when there should have been at least eight. England scored from a corner, a beautifully worked free kick that should have been saved for a match that matters, two penalties, a screamer and a fortunate deflection.

Apart from the move that preceded Jesse Lingard’s peach of a finish, their creativity amounted to precious little, and I thought their lack of enterprise in the second half, when they had a perfect opportunity to cut loose and rehearse a few moves, was worrying even allowing for the brutal heat.

Indeed a defence who have a massive chance of conceding a truly laughable goal before too long were sliced open with alarming ease by extremely limited opponents, and every side who line up against England will fancy themselves to create bundles of chances.

It’s great that everyone in England is getting excited, but the doubts and shortcomings that were freely expressed on phone-ins and in columns in the months leading up to the finals have not disappeared and I fear they will be starkly exposed soon.

None of keepers are top-notch, Kyle Walker on the right of the three centre-backs is the second-worst experiment of the tournament, the left wing-backs are average, so is the midfield, Raheem Sterling looks hideously out of form and there is not a great deal to excite when it comes to making substitutions.

England v Belgium match preview

Moreover, it seems Southgate is hell bent on winning Thursday's clash with Belgium even if it propels England into a harder part of the draw.

This would be daft and the counter-argument - that it is important to keep winning, thus creating that mythical quality momentum - is woefully flimsy.

Sir Clive Woodward claimed: “World Cups are all about momentum - winning your next game.”

Oh, are they now? Is that why only three of the last 16 World Cup champions were victorious in all of their group matches? How come, Sir Clive, the last ten teams to win all of their group assignments failed to win the final?

How did Italy win the 1982 final despite failing to win any of their group matches? Portugal are the reigning kings of Europe yet they did not win a match until the semi-finals.

The concept of momentum is used by people to try to sound smart and shrewd. It is complete and utter bollocks.

I have been working with a properly shrewd man in Kevin Pullein for long enough to know that in any event anything can happen, and that means only a simpleton could claim England cannot possibly win the World Cup.

But the odds of them doing so, which were as near to realistic as they have ever been at the outset of this enthralling competition, have shrunk as hopes and expectations have risen and they are now in their customary position of being far too short.

I hope I am wrong because I would love to spend this summer surrounded by deliriously happy compatriots, but the likelihood is that for those who have allowed themselves to get carried away by wins against two poor teams a nasty shock is looming.

VAR debacle turning World Cup theatre into a soap opera

The depressingly predictable VAR shambles that is unfolding in Russia shows just how little interest many people who claim to love football have in actual football matches.

The clamour for the use of video replays to make decisions was based on a fundamental desire to ensure mistakes were eradicated, but now its advocates have been forced to change tack in the wake of the jolting realisation that the VAR is every bit as capable of getting it wrong as the officials who have been doing such a good job with the naked eye for 150-odd years.

The awarding of a penalty for handball in the closing stages of Portugal v Iran on Monday was just about the most preposterous thing I have ever seen on a football pitch.

The inadvertent contact with the Portuguese player’s arm somehow caused the VAR’s antennae to twitch and, after the standard annoying delay, the arbiter somehow saw fit to point to the spot.

It was ridiculous and if handball is given in similar circumstances on a regular basis games will start being won by those teams whose players best master the art of kicking the ball against opponents’ arms, which is not really what we want.

Mind you, maybe it is. Because it has been astonishing how many VAR fans, who had previously supported its introduction on the basis it would rid us of mistakes, now accept it is imperfect but love what they see as the added sense of excitement it brings.

I always thought football pre-VAR was perfectly exciting but I have long since suspected many followers actually see it as a kind of soap opera for blokes and that things like new kits, dumb stats, transfer speculation and what players post on Instagram is what attracts them to the game.

So now the VAR mutation is getting love not for its intended purpose but because those who can’t see the fascination of tactical match-ups, off-the-ball movement and such like get all worked up by the suspense of wondering whether the ref, as he reviews an incident on the side of the pitch, will show a card or exonerate the suspect.

If that is really what people want then taken to its logical conclusion football will morph into a primetime reality show. Rather than the simple brandishing of a red card or the pointing towards the penalty spot, we will have Ant and Dec, or maybe Davina, announcing the outcome of a review, complete with the mandatory long pause we have to endure before finding out which member of the Hollyoaks cast is being evicted, forced to eat a wallaby’s todger or whatever.

“Aaron Cresswell. The referee has been looking at whether or not you fouled Marc Albrighton. And the decision is...no you didn’t. It’s a goal kick to West Ham!” No thanks.

If people really can’t be doing with football in the form in which it has existed and thrived for so long I’m all for the creation of a silly new version. I happily admit I don’t have the patience for Test cricket and far prefer T20.

But there are plenty of us that like pre-VAR football so please leave that as it is and let whatever vandalism is felt is necessary to make the pure form of the game exist as a separate dumbed-down format.

The 2018 World Cup continues to be an absorbing, fascinating, wide-open competition, featuring superb goals and no end of drama, but it would have been ever more wonderful without the VAR butting in and getting as many things wrong as right.

And to foist it, with its illogically inconsistent application and its tedious delays, on to the most important sporting occasion of all as an experiment that is failing so badly is truly a crime.

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