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The Assist

US Open champion could have a big influence on top-flight goalkeepers

Football can learn from beefed-up Bryson

Grown men hit the deck if Leon Goretzka even looks in their direction
Grown men hit the deck if Leon Goretzka even looks in their directionCredit: David Ramos

Top-level sport is all about finding an edge over your rivals so it is no surprise that footballers occasionally take inspiration from competitors in other disciplines.

Remember when Sir Clive Woodward, England's World Cup-winning rugby union coach, had a brief spell as performance director at Southampton? That was marvellous, wasn't it?

More recently, Chelsea goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga has become a disciple of the noble art of dodgeball and, sadly, the influence on Premier League football of diving and handball is clear to see.

So it's a safe bet that plenty of football people were glued to the coverage of the US Open golf last weekend.

Tottenham returnee Gareth Bale is one famous devotee of the 18-hole code – hence that mildly controversial banner which read something like: 'Golf. Money. Alice bands' – and he is not alone in that passion.

In fact, without wishing to generalise, all footballers love golf so it will be interesting to see whether the triumph of bulked-up Bryson DeChambeau at Winged Foot inspires some of our top-flight players to 'get big'.

DeChambeau has apparently put on 40lb of sweet, sweet muscle in the past year and is now hitting golf balls further than ever before.

It's not only extra distance off the tee that is helping his game – his muscular frame is so intimidating that he can literally bully the ball into the hole. If Bryson doesn't fancy attempting a tricky eight-foot putt, he'll simply flex, pout and groan and the little dimpled orb will scurry in all on its own.

These new-found powers are not universally popular among DeChambeau's fellow professionals.

Presumably, though, anybody complaining to him will be glared at until they agree that he can win as many Majors as he likes, for as long as he likes, or else something's gonna get crushed.

"Of course, Mr DeChambeau, sir. We're just preparing your green jacket – would XXXL still be a touch snug around the biceps? Can I fill up that claret jug with another protein shake for you?"

The closest footballing parallel is Germany midfielder Leon Goretzka, whose lockdown bulk-up seems eminently sensible given the number of heavy trophies he has to lift with Bayern Munich.

But after last weekend's ridiculous goal glut in the Premier League it may be necessary to unleash a new generation of gym-bunny goalkeepers who can hit a goal kick 350 yards and are at least as wide as they're tall.

When hard-working backers of under 1.5 goals in a fixture such as Newcastle versus Brighton have their dreams dashed inside the first seven minutes, drastic measures are required.

Goalkeepers of the world – it's time to make yourself big.


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Published on 24 September 2020inThe Assist

Last updated 19:35, 24 September 2020

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