Spectacular goals are flying in but the best seats in the house remain empty

Feeling sympathy for Premier League footballers is not a popular stance.

The no-nonsense brigade dictate that footballers' colossal salaries mean they should never complain about their lot, never feel tired, and certainly never comment on anything other than "taking each game as it comes".

Some Twitter economists even suggest that if, say, Gary Cahill donated a month's wages we could end global poverty and still have enough left over to upgrade Trident.

But I'll put my neck on the block and admit I've felt a bit sorry for some footballers in the past couple of weeks – specifically those who have scored spectacular or career-defining goals in behind-closed-doors fixtures.

Usually, Che Adams's long-range winner for Southampton against Manchester City would have provoked a cacophony of raucous revelry at St Mary's.

Likewise Danny Welbeck, returning from long-term injury to bury an overhead kick in a crucial victory for relegation-threatened Watford, or Norwich youngster Todd Cantwell, scoring a sweet-as-a-nut equaliser in the FA Cup quarter-final against Manchester United.

In more normal times, Jamie Vardy might have celebrated his 100th top-flight goal for Leicester by pulling out a cricket bat he had concealed down his sock and raising it to all four corners of the King Power Stadium.

Instead, these wonder-strikes and landmark goals have been diminished by a landscape of empty seats and a soundtrack of artificial cheers. It's as though Zinedine Zidane's volley in the 2002 Champions League final had been greeted by the sound of one hand clapping.

Mind you, some players seem to relish the peace and quiet. Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos has scored five goals in seven appearances behind closed doors while Sheffield United's John Egan, who had notched one goal since Christmas 2017, struck twice in four days this month.

Three of Ramos's strikes were penalties and it must be easier to take a spot-kick without all those oiks and yobbos (sorry, valued customers who are the lifeblood of our game) making crude hand gestures behind the goal.

No doubt every club has a data analyst beavering away to determine which players should be fitted with blinkers and earplugs when supporters are once again allowed into the ground.

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