Time to hit the books for England and Southgate with new conflict brewing

History is a wonderful tool. Those who are wise will learn from mistakes, and avoid them in the future. Those who are not, which covers the vast majority, are doomed to live in a never-ending cycle of asking themselves “why?”

Why did I let my four-year-old have a packet of Haribo Starmix half an hour before bedtime? Why did I order that extra drink at the pub when my legs already felt like a baby giraffe's? And why didn't I watch Braveheart on Channel 5 rather than sit through England's turgid goalless draw with Scotland?

Unless you are a member of the Tartan Army, that last one may have been rattling round your head on Saturday morning. Footballing history told us to prepare for a blood-and-thunder encounter and, duty-bound, we tuned in. Over 20 million people watching these two proud nations go head-to-head once more.

But rather than a flood of excitement in the Wembley deluge, it was more of a trickle and those wanting to see a real battle, rather than a tactical one, would have been better suited watching Mel Gibson slap on the blue and white paint.

At least in Braveheart England got the ‘win’, but there was never a sense Gareth Southgate was going to pull a Longshanks and edge this particular conflict with the Scots.

We should have known better, history having taught us to expect disappointment when watching England. From now on, though, we will take a more measured approach to the Three Lions’ chances of Euro 2020 glory. That is unless they beat the Czech Republic, at which point it's time to crank up Football’s Coming Home.

Not content with having claimed a moral victory at Wembley, Scotland have now drawn the battle lines in the nickname stakes.

Leeds United fans have known about the Yorkshire Pirlo moniker bestowed on Kalvin Phillips for some time - there’s even an excellent beer named after the Whites midfielder. That nickname has now been brought to the attention of the nation and it will soon be illegal not to mention his byname when talking about Phillips.

Not to be outdone, we now have the Scottish Kante to rival the Yorkshire Pirlo in Billy Gilmour. The 20-year-old was excellent in his first start for Scotland on Friday and was more than a match for Phillips. However, I think I’ll wait for a taste of the inevitable Scottish Kante ale before deciding who is more worthy of their nickname.

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