The phone call from an irate Dan Skelton that put me back in my box - plus a 66-1 tip for the Cheltenham Festival

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My one-year-old daughter was trying to break the world record for the longest stint of crying without stopping. She gave it a right good rattle. There were endless reserves of stamina in those tears. I forgot about the toast under the grill (the toaster was broken) as I was trying to stop an audacious world record attempt at the time, so all of a sudden there was smoke everywhere. There were Cheerios in every corner of the kitchen, the sink was stacked with dirty dishes, and her mother wasn't due home from a hen party until the day after. 

Then, the phone rings. A 0044 number. British. Bollocks.