A Galway and Goodwood survival guide - how to manage the most manic week of the year

Let the mayhem begin. Which genius thought seven days of Galway was a good idea? Imagine your doctor diagnosing you with gout and then prescribing you four packets of Fruit Pastilles. It is relentless; it's remorseless; it's ridiculous.

We beg for mercy at the end of four days of Cheltenham, pleading for it to return to the heady days of three, yet here we are on the eve of a seven-day extravaganza at Galway and there is not a word of it ever downsizing. Don't you dare take anything away from Ireland's take on a Caribbean cruise. This is our week and we love it just the way it is, thank you very much.

Throw in five days of Goodwood and you have a glorious gala of all sorts of everything. It is turning up at a buffet and seeing beef Wellington on one plate and a big bowl of popcorn next to it. It is okay to enjoy both. Nobody will judge you for it this week.