Schauffele shuffles home in third place to extend the agonising drought

When playing on a swing in a public park the other day, my four-year-old daughter turned to me, closed her eyes and screamed: "I'm so happy I could die!"

It was a comment which caught me on the hop and initially confused me. Was she being incredibly morbid and expressing pleasure in the fact that she has the option of dying? Did her happiness in this respect stem from an underlying unhappiness and the resulting comfort of knowing that the Grim Reaper could eventually end this suffering? Was she even planning a sinister leap from the swing?

"I'm sorry?" I chirped back in a bid for clarity. Then all became clear when Grace flashed me the cheeky smile which still makes my heart melt with overwhelming affection. "I'M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!" she repeated loudly with eyes twinkling.