Justin Thomas and Patrick Cantlay keep the wind whipping through my sails

Certain knowledge can only come with experience – the older you get, the wiser you get – and I am happy to accept that anyone with more years on the clock than me is odds-on to possess a greater understanding of life and its various challenges.

For example, I have slowly but surely learned through my marriage that the best place to disguise a wind-pass is in the shower. It does not matter who is passing (if you'll pardon the pun) when you release in this location because you can always claim that you were just getting the last remnants from a shower gel bottle. Squeeze the dregs from a shower gel bottle and it will always make the sort of sound associated with more frowned upon behaviour. In fact, it is impossible to tell the difference.

I stock as many almost empty bottles as I can in the shower to aid my cause. Wisdom, increasing with every passing day, is keeping my en-suite reputation sweet.