'It's a carnival and it's down to everybody to make it feel like one'

Hard at work in the fierce early-morning sunshine of the Surrey suburbs, the overworked racing hack has some difficult choices to make. It's never easy at journalism's gritty coalface and this morning is a brutal case in point.

On the one hand, Investec Derby favourite Cracksman is due down Tattenham Hill in a few minutes and there will be precious clues to glean from this key gallop, to which our man must give his full and expert attention, for Queen and country.

Then again, on the table in front of him in the plush Duchess Stand are two rashers of very fine bacon, scrambled eggs cooked to a nicety and button mushrooms that are just so. It may be a second helping but it would still be rude to the sponsors not to clear his plate and he feels obliged on principle to tuck in.