Careless Harris English adds to the woes of harassed Englishman

Two feet and ten inches. I think I'll probably remember the length of the putt Harris English missed at the final hole of the 2019 Houston Open until the day I die. Two tiny feet and ten tiddly inches.

I have eaten baguettes that are considerably longer than two feet and ten inches. I have owned rabbits that are longer than two feet and ten inches. But Harris bleedin' English could not manage to successfully tickle his ball over two feet and ten inches of perfectly manicured green grass to a gaping hole which was staring up at him and begging for a Titleist ProV1x.

The dopey sod. English would have finished fourth on his own had he converted that putt, delivering a full each-way payout of £1,100 from my quarter the odds, first five places investment with bet365, leaving me with just about enough ammunition to feel I could approach future battles with some sort of hope.