BILLY BUNTER

Weblog: The football punter

Speed is the key to fun in my brave sporting world

IT'S not very often that I allow myself to get distracted by events on a cricket field, but I had to grab the remote and take in a bit of the South Africa v Australia Test on Thursday.

Wickets were falling at an astonishing rate. Four Aussies were sent back to the pavilion in the time it took me to devour a ham sandwich as they were dismissed for a paltry 47.

Fair play to both sides for getting a five-day match over in half the time. It's got to be the way forward.

And then there was John Daly at the Australian Open. He hit six balls into the water on the same hole, shook hands with his playing partners and heading off on the long trip home.

Hats off for him realising his race was won and pulling up before any further damage was done.

So, in the light of this, I am somewhat perturbed to see that the South American qualifying group for the Brazil World Cup does not end until October 15 2013.

That's an awfully long time and flies in the face of the end of the world predictions of the Mayans, who inhabited that neck of the woods thousands of years ago, whose calendar suggests that life will cease on December 21, 2012.

Perhaps this is why no-one has priced up qualification from the Conmebol group.

Perhaps this is why no TV company has taken the opportunity to televise these matches live.

My sketchy knowledge of potential solar alignments that could initiate the destruction of all human life and maybe the planet itself means that I am only able to speculate.

But, I'll tell you one thing, if Argentina don't beat Bolivia to nil tonight, it'll be the end of the world as I know it.