BILLY BUNTER

Weblog: The football punter

Hinckley against Hyde appeals more than Brazil

THERE was a time when it was an honour to even have a bet on a Brazil match but I think I'm fed up of the Samba Stars and a wager on the Blue Square Bet North match between Hinckley United and Hyde is probably tempting me more than one when the South American giants face Egypt in Doha.

In short, I've got Brazil fatigue, though it's probably nothing compared to the sort of jetlag that the players themselves are experiencing.

Brazil have been doing their Harlem Globetrotters act for a while but it seems to have got out of hand now, although at least some proceeds from this match are going to charity.

I've never been one for jetsetting and don't understand why some rich people decide to spend half of their lives in a pressurised cabin 40,000 feet in the air, eating food which makes my local Wetherspoon's look like The Ivy.

I suppose now that there's a stylish new American TV show about gorgeous air hostesses in the 60s people will start thinking it's glamourous again, when we all know that the most exciting part of flying these days is when the non-stop announcements, endless adverts and stifling seating arrangements give someone a minor panic attack.

The most thrilling airbourne action doesn't even take place in the toilets anymore, as French actor Gerard Depardieu showed when he took a leak in the aisleof a Dublin-bound flight over the summer.

Apparently, declaring "Je veux pisser, je veux pisser" before a bout of public urination isn't enough warning to prevent pesky officials from chucking you off a plane these days, even if you're a celebrity.

See? No fun at all.