BILLY BUNTER

Weblog: The football punter

Black Cats standout if Potteries beat cold snap

I HATE cold weather.

The worst sort of cold weather is the will-it-snow-or-won’t-it variety cos that just ruins my advanced planning.

As it stands – and this is based on the Beeb’s weather forecasters who even by their low standards are right now even wider of the mark than Fernando Torres – it’s going to snow this weekend.

But we just don’t know where.

I can make a more educated guess than Bill Giles or whoever it is at the BBC who waits to see if some cows start lying dow n.

It’ll be frosty in the east so I don’t have to study up on the games at Wycombe, Colchester or Gillingham. They stand no chance of surviving a pitch inspection.

It’ll be raining in the west so it’s the green light for Cheltenham and Plymouth.

But then there’s all that pesky snow. Where’s that going to be dumped?

Will it reach as far south as Portsmouth for example?

Will Portsmouth still be in existence by the time it does?

Will Hull be able to get to Portsmouth?

We need some meteorological guidance from the boffins who are supposedto know about these things.

Also people are dropping dead of the cold in Europe and it’s heading our way. Will I still be alive for the Monday night game?

I need some answers. What I do know is that if they clear the snow/rain/frost/clay off the pitch at Stoke City in time for their game against Sunderland then the Wearsiders are my nap of the weekend.

Martin O’Neill’s men are buzzing and sorry old ponderous Stokeare going to be no match for them. Just hope my prediction is more convincing than the weatherman’s.