Weblog: What do you mean the Wi-Fi doesn't work? The life of a Racing Post reporter
Royal Rasen, anyone?
If only Queen Anne had come to Lincolnshire rather than Berkshire it might have saved a lot of Jimmy Choos and Louboutins.
Legend has it that she founded Ascot back in 1711 after coming across an area of open heath that looked ideal for a racecourse while she was out riding.
Fine track it is too but this week's meeting has shown that watching the top-class racing often entails coping with heavy rain and sloshy mud - which does no favours to a beautifully-crafted, hand-made shoe.
Whereas the expensive footwear would have been safe had Her Majesty been out riding on the Lincolnshire Wolds - Market Rasen has had the best of the weather this week.
Though there was the occasional blustery shower the ground was barely softer than good this afternoon and you'd have done well to find a patch of mud to squelch in.
Was windy though. The winning owner's prize of two engraved glasses in the feature race quickly became one glass after a sudden gust sent the presentation box flying seconds before it was due to be handed over - one survived the subsequent impact with the ground but there was no salvaging the other.
The dress code is rather less snooty at Market Rasen too.
In the county enclosure: "Anyone wearing ripped jeans, shorts or vests will be refused admission." And "Bare chests are not permitted" in Tatts.
"Unduly casual or extreme attire and fancy dress is also barred from the county enclosure, which also has a code of behaviour - though I found it impossible to see what it entails. It may consist of one line, saying:
'Do not behave like this - http://bit.ly/MOHbFV
Market Rasen was also the place to be aurally. Usual announcer Mike Vince was on duty at the royal meeting and stand-in Steven Powell is a much calmer and less intrusive presence behind the microphone.
Shame there weren't a few other broadcasters here to hear his pre-racing chat with jockey Dominic Elsworth which was a model of the genre - bowling along briskly with just a punchy line or two on each race and never threatening to outstay its welcome.
But racing at Ascot today would not have inspired the awful memories which were brought back by the success of Paddy Partridge, named after the referee whose missing of a blatant 91st minute foul on Gordon Banks prevented Stoke from beating Arsenal in an FA Cup semi final in 1972 (it may have been 40 years ago but it still rankles - sure sign we don't tend to win things very often).