Weblog: What do you mean the Wi-Fi doesn't work? The life of a Racing Post reporter
Henley Regatta it ain't
Funny how the same words can mean very different things in different places - and this was a very different take on 'ladies day'.
Uttoxeter were going for a serene occasion on Thursday and prided themselves on appealing to a mature market. A quality day, not a crush.
Things could scarcely have been less similar 48 hours later and 180 miles to the north.
Ladies day at Newcastle is billed in the racecard as 'the north east's biggest social event of the year'. But that is not 'social event' in the sense of 'vicar's tea party' or 'Henley Regatta'.
Rather, it is a gathering of 20,000-plus locals absolutely determined to have a good time, seemingly at whatever cost - and with top-whack tickets going for £50 it was not a cheap day out.
The tone was set by the loud pop music playing as you arrived, 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)' more often than not.
Quite fitting as this is one of the few places in the world where Beyonce would stand out due to the relatively demure nature of her outfit.
The local lasses tend to dress in such a way as to achieve maximum exposure to the sun on the rare occasions it appears.
Today was one of those occasions so everyone was determined to make the most of it, crowding the stands and all the outside areas and turning them into something approaching a large rugby scrum - the ball replaced by a champagne bottle or a jug of Pimms.
It was rather like one huge episode of 'Geordie Shore', so it was no surprise to see a camera crew from that very programme taking full advantage and shooting scenes for the next series.
The security teams did their darndest to keep stairways clear but just as you can't make water flow uphill it is very difficult to make racegoers keep moving when they want to stand and chat - and drink.
So getting to and from the parade ring and winner's enclosure was invariably a battle.
You certainly knew you'd been in a race by the end of the afternoon and it was very much a young man's day - luckily my (slightly) elder colleague Colin Russell was able to celebrate his birthday in more civilised climes at York, where it would have been just as busy but where there is more space for everyone to spread out.
No birthday off for jockey Franny Norton either, though he didn't have to work very hard to land the feature race here by fully six lengths on Dubawi Sound - who may just find the atmosphere a little more refined when he bids to defy a penalty at Goodwood on Wednesday.